travel blog

Jupiter, Florida (26 Mar - 30 Mar, 2004)
Since my reading materials were stowed away and you can barely use electronic devices on a 40 minute flight, I perused the SkyMall catalog on my flight home, as I have been known to do on occasion. Among the normal, tailored-to-affluent-white-men items I discovered the Personal Patriot, a Palm anthology of the most important documents and speeches in U.S. history. I am not shitting you when I say the ad copy reads:

From the full text of the US Constitution to George W. Bush's address to Congress after the attacks of 9/11, the words that have inspired Americans for more than two centuries are here ...

Yes, yes of course! Because anything said by George W. Bush certainly qualifies as one of the two most important documents in American history!! I swear to god, some days I feel like I'm in an Onion article or a story on the Daily Show.

NB: There is no doubt that the tragedies of September 11, 2001, were among the most significant events in U.S. history. But maybe, just maybe, when you have space to advertise only two of the many items in the collection, you perhaps ought to consider the Declaration of Independence, or the Emancipation Proclamation, or the I Have a Dream speech, or FDR's first inaugural address, or ... you get the idea.

Yes, we get the idea, but I'll continue - or the Gettysburg Address, or Washington's Farewell, or FDR's speech after Pearl Harbor, or Federalist 10, ...
And can you just imagine - as I did - what that post-9/11 speech would've been like if written and delivered by someone more familiar with the English language...like, for instance, Al Gore, or (be still my heart) Bill Clinton? -Ed.

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